Humor - Lotus Elan Conversions

[At a car dealership]

Man: Good morning, I'd like to buy a Super Seven.
Salesman: Certainly sir. I've got a lovely Elan. [pointing to a yellow DHC]
Man: No, I want a Super Seven.
S: [leading the customer down the row of cars] Oh yeah. How about that? [pointing to a green FHC]
Man: No, that's still an Elan.
S: Well, it's as near as dammit.
Man: What do you mean? I want a Super Seven.
S: Listen, tell you what. I'll cut the top off, remove the fenders; there you are, a lovely Super Seven.
Man: Its not a proper Super Seven.
S: What do you mean?
Man: Well it wouldn't win any concours.
S: But it sure would get attention!
Man: No, no, no, no. Er, have you got a Europa?
S: No, I'm afraid not actually guv, we're fresh out of Europas. I'll tell you what though ... I'll move the engine into the back, throw some fiberglass over it, and bondo on emblems of your own choice.

[patting the car] No problem. Lovely Europa.

Man: How long would that take?
Sr: Oh, let me see ... er, move engine, bondo, ... [calling]
Harry ... can you do a Europa job on this Elan straight away?
Harry: No, I'm still putting a V12 in the MGB, and then I got the Mini to let out.
S: Friday?
Man: No I need it for tomorrow. It's a present.
S: Oh dear, it's a long job. You see Elan conversion ... Tell you what though, for free, Elans make lovely Midgets. I mean I could do that for you straight away. Shocks and springs off, foul two plugs, crack the distributor, bondo the headlamps up. It's a great conversation piece.

[pause]