Steering wheel fitting

[Emma-Knight]

...come on boys - its just a wheel

PS It's from our old '69 Porsche 914. So heavy, a Lotus would loose 2 seconds on 60 miles

What pig?

Anna

[1964 S1]

Hello John,
Can't go on with what? I was hoping for some advice on the one inch pancake on my '07 Gerbil. Very quick in the corners but seems a bit tipsy...
Eric

[GrUmPyBoDgEr]

Anna,

What a cute little chappy.
Pancakes can cause serious bleaching to Guinea Pig fur, but the effect on yours makes it very appealing. Get it across to Birmingham today; "Crufts" is now on & I'm sure you could collect a few trophies



Eric,

you're winding me up
A little advice may help here. I think you're going to have to refit the "Federal" longer front springs; that will get it's eyes back up to the legal height but may have a serious effect on the cornering.
I suspect that the Maple Syrup you're using maybe fermented.
Use a fresh jar to see if that stops him from getting "Tipsy"

Wishing you both a restful & erholsames weekend.

I'm back on the medication again

Dr. John

[neilsjuke]

Had my elan wheel refurbished by Len Chandler 01276 856591 great job .
And no GP's

[alexblack13]

Funniest thing I have read and seen for ages.. Brill...


Still laughing.. Don't know how considering the state of my engine!!




Alex B

[GrUmPyBoDgEr]

A bit off topic, but here goes because a HAMSTER is mentioned.
By the way I was pleased to hear that the re-covered wheel was a good job




How to give a cat a pill

Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.



Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand, force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop
pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer.

Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on
hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another
shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency
room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill
Wrap it in bacon.
Toss it in the air.

Ok I'll get my coat
John

[1964 S1]

Thanks John,
You were right. The old syrup was loaded with hootch. Got a fresh bottle, now the little fellow corners fine but shakes like all four paws are out of balance. I'm taking him in to the vet.
What size pancake do you have on the cat?
Eric

[GrUmPyBoDgEr]

Eric,

I'm so pleased to hear that your "wheel recovered", sorry meant Gerbil of course
Do you think a re-balance will do the job?
I would check all 4 paws for dents; it could have kerbed them when it was high.
Now that's a silly question about Pancakes on cats heads. Lets try to keep serious on this.
I don't think you're ready to upgrade to cats, be happy with your Gerbil & Elan.
Errm, you can get an expanded plastic mesh bag onto a cats head fairly successfully.
Trouble is they get stuck permanently in reverse gear & bump into everything in the house.

Have a nice weekend
John

[1964 S1]

Aye, fermented syrup it was. The vet diagnosed the shaking as the Detox DT's indeed. All four paws are balanced now after the twelve step program.
We've got a four inch wheel on the cat but the picture won't download, too big. I'll try a smaller pancake.