CLOG of the year

[jimj]

Dear Great Jim Jackson,

I hope that Mrs Jim and yourself are flourishing and that the snow is not too deep in your neck of the woods.

I (and my large team of helpers) have been counting the votes for the CLOG of the Year award; it has not been an easy task this year, as you can imagine. Not for the first time there doesn't appear to be a clear winner, so it is down to myself, as President Mugabe for Life, to make the final decision.

Having examined in detail (and for many hours) the various exploits of the CLOGsters over the past year I have come to the conclusion that, in consideration of your outstanding contributions to motoring journalism (note that we have at least three professional motoring hacks within the membership and you've trumped their sorry efforts) I think it would be only proper to award the trophy to yourself.

This is the first time that I have approached a potential recipient before the award ceremony; I've done this because I have become aware that the incumbent CLOG of the Year faces a whirlwind of guest appearances across the globe; after-dinner speaking engagements, weddings, children's parties, Bar-Mitzvahs and trips on fancy yachts to the Bahamas, etc. I'm wondering, no offence, due to your advanced age, if you are up to the job.

The presentation of the award takes place at the CLOG Christmas meeting, which this year falls on Sunday 4th December at Swettenham. Can you make that date? If you can, please limit your acceptance speech to 10,000 words and don't mention the war, or "Colin Chapman's fabulous Elan".

If you can't make that date, please let me know; and I'll present the award to the first person who buys me a beer (you can tell how prestigious this award is).

Best Regards,
El Presidente (Mr).

I think there may have been a mistake:

[Ross Robbins]

Mr. Parker: It's a Major Award!
Swede: Shucks, I wouldn't know that. It looks like a lamp.
Mr. Parker: What is a lamp, you nincompoop? It's a Major Award. I won it!
Swede: Damn, hell, you say won it?
Mr. Parker: Yeah, mind power, Swede; mind power.