Lotus Elan


PostPost by: KevJ+2 » Fri Apr 14, 2017 8:27 pm

A man gets shipwrecked on a desert island. The only two other survivors are a sheep and a dog.
After a few weeks, the man starts to get sexually frustrated and starts looking at the sheep.
He stands on the beach each night with his two companions, but each time he approaches the sheep the dog growls as if it knows what the man intends.
After a few more weeks of frustration, a storm hits the island and there's another shipwreck. In the morning, the man finds the only survivor. He's amazed to find that it's Nicola Sturgeon!
After a few more nights on the beach with the dog and the sheep watching the sun go down, he finds Nicola eyeing him up and down, licking her lips. She slowly approaches him and in her sexiest Scottish voice she asks him if there is anything she can do for him.
The man smiles at her and replies...there sure is, can you take the dog for a walk?
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PostPost by: Europatc » Fri Apr 14, 2017 9:52 pm

I could see why the sheep would look attractive Kev lol :lol:
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PostPost by: vincereynard » Fri Apr 14, 2017 10:25 pm

Just get her to talk to the dog. It will nod off in a few minutes. (Or possibly run into the sea?)
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PostPost by: Stevie-Heathie » Sat Apr 15, 2017 5:11 am

Nothing against Nicola or her politics, but she does have a certain oratory style . . .
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PostPost by: elansprint71 » Sat Apr 15, 2017 9:06 pm

No such thing as a sexy Scottish voice.

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PostPost by: JimE » Sat Apr 15, 2017 10:00 pm

I heard a similar joke only in this case it was an Irishman who had joined the Foreign Legion. After many weeks of being isolated in the desert and getting sexually frustrated he turns to his camel but every time he approaches it, it tries to bite him. Eventually he see what looks like a mirage on the horizon but in fact turns out to be a beautiful blond. When she approaches him and asks if there is anything she can do for him he replies " could you hold that camels head" boom boom.
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PostPost by: elanfan1 » Sat Apr 15, 2017 10:10 pm

Much more masculine than wee Jimmy Krankie too.

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