Lotus Elan

Eternal Damnation?

PostPost by: elansprint71 » Wed Feb 29, 2012 1:59 pm

I bought some polyurethane bushes for my differential tie-rods and was under the car fitting them earlier today; as is the way with this material it sometimes has a mind of its own. I took the tie rod off, removed the old bits, fitted the first bush and cup washer, put it through the diff carrier and found that the bolt holes through the chassis at the front end of the tie rod were way out of alignment. This was due to the new bush being longer than the tired old item I had removed.

I applied some leverage to the (rounded) end of the tie rod by means of a 14 inch cabinet screw-driver and tried to push the bolt through as the holes came into line; you can imagine that this was like trying to juggle with cats with one hand behind my back. After I had stabbed myself at least three times and the had screw-driver slipped off for the 17th time I let out a very loud and plaintive cry along the lines of "You effing bastard thing...".

I heard a slight noise and imagine my surprise when I looked from under the car and saw two figures transfixed on my driveway- a lady of middle years dressed in rather peculiar fashion with a floor-sweeping dress and beret (she was wearing other garments but I did not take note of what they were); alongside whom was standing and an angelic little girl of about 6 years, also wearing a skirt down to the ground. The lady sort of whispered, "I'll just put this leaflet through your door" and they scuttled off pronto!
Needless to say the bolt slipped in at the next try and then the sun came out.

I have just cleaned up and read the leaflet they left; it seems to be from the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania. Most of the stuff in it is mumbo-jumbo but it does say:"If we want God to listen to our prayers, we must pray in the way that he approves".

My new method of working will be to enter the garage swearing and cursing at the top of my voice before I pick up a tool; presumably everything will just fall into place from then on.
Last edited by elansprint71 on Wed Feb 29, 2012 5:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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PostPost by: garyeanderson » Wed Feb 29, 2012 3:17 pm

Long story, no Lotus or Elan involved but was a kind of story where you may have had to be there.

My friends that lived across from me growing up had their mother die 10 (more?) years ago, Their father gets remarried to the widow that had lived down in the corner house. The families don't get along well and the father ends up dieing 5 or so years ago. To set the seen there seems to be a lack of cooperation to get anything sentimental returned, Finally the two families agree that on a Saturday they would meet and me having a F250 pickuo truck, I get a call to help. Well I am there for more than the fact that I have the truck but also to see that things don't go badly. So the two sons of the father (my friends) and I arrive at the appointed time and the step mother is there with her "second" (eldest daughter) I don't remember her much but we exchange hellos and it takes a bit of time to get around to loading. Seems there has to be some conversation first and there is a bit of tension rising. We finally get over to the garage and start to load up the sentimental stuff. I notice that the daughter is glaring at my friend and he gives her the LOOK, I think you may understand just how much a look can say and I think that look said it all, I can't write the words that were conveyed with a 2 second glance with facial expression but the daughter does not hold back on the words or the volume, before things get way out of hand I tell my friend "get in the truck" like I was talking to a bad dog, he turns to me give me a similar look and I repeat my previous phase to "get in the truck" and he looks back at me realizing what was about to happen and just gets in the truck with the daughter barking out profanities. Mom tells bad daughter to "go inside", she backs away and my other friend and I finish loading the sentimental stuff say goodbye and leave. we pull away and get to the main street, stop, turn right and accelerate away. We get nearly up to speed and the Police with sirens blaring, lights flashing approaches from opposite direction at a high rate of speed and turns into where we had just been. Seems the neighbors had called about someone disturbing the peace and we were gone and left Mom to explain. As we continued to drive away the laughter burst out of all three of us and the tension was finally over. Sometimes life is good :D
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PostPost by: MickG » Wed Feb 29, 2012 10:58 pm

My new method of working will be to enter the garage swearing and cursing at the top of my voice before I pick up a tool; presumably everything will just fall into place from then on.

Tried that Pete, it doesn?t work either

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