Talking Cow

Post by: **alexblack13** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 11:17 pm

Heard it! But it was with two horses. One black and one white! & It was the white one who knew F.A. about cars.

My funny about cows was sitting in a Lay by Errr..em.. 'resting up' (and no it was not a dogging special). An older couple in the car in front (this is beginning to sound very dodgy though... :roll:

) eating their lunch when a Coo in the field on their right managed to fire a fair old jet of liquid shit straight through the open drivers window.. :shock:

Without doubt the funniest thing I ever saw. The poor guy was covered in the stuff.. :lol:

Took me all day to stop laughing..

Al' .....

Post by: **JJDraper** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 5:33 pm

Driving through France this summer, we caught up some heavy traffic. This was unexpected because of the time of day, and was tedious. After 5 minutes of slow movement, we passed the incident.. in tune with the theme of this thread, it was a large open top truck which was carrying very smelly semi-liquid sh*t. The truck had made an emergency stop, but the contents did not. It cascaded over and into his cab via a sunroof, strategically opened to funnel a blast of the noisome liquid onto the driver. The door had been flung open and there was a thick trail from the cab to the side of the road...

Jeremy

Post by: **ardee_selby** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 5:59 pm

JJDraper wrote:Driving through France this summer, we caught up some heavy traffic. This was unexpected because of the time of day, and was tedious. After 5 minutes of slow movement, we passed the incident.. in tune with the theme of this thread, it was a large open top truck which was carrying very smelly semi-liquid sh*t. The truck had made an emergency stop, but the contents did not. It cascaded over and into his cab via a sunroof, strategically opened to funnel a blast of the noisome liquid onto the driver. The door had been flung open and there was a thick trail from the cab to the side of the road...

Jeremy

OMG...and I thought "only a Brit in America"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=8qfX6xdoPbM

Cheers - Richard

Post by: **elansprint71** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 9:56 pm

Swill-feeding of pigs has been unlawful in the EU for quite a few years now. Not many people know that.

Outside the industry, of course. :wink:

Post by: **GrUmPyBoDgEr** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:12 pm

Post by: **ardee_selby** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:37 pm

GrUmPyBoDgEr wrote: This forum is a mine of information

John,

Also, before you get one, take heed! :wink:

PET PIG WALKING LICENCES:
* Licences can be issued to take pet pigs for walks
* For a licence you need to contact your local Animal Health Divisional Office
* Your route will need to be approved

Cheers - Richard

Post by: **GrUmPyBoDgEr** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:59 pm

Post by: **twincamman** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 11:03 pm

I heard it was a COW who got hit by a car . The paramedics put a pillow under her head and asked '''are you comfortable ????' the cow replied 'vell I make a living' .....ed........and here come the sheep jokes

Post by: **alexblack13** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:23 am

Aw Naw!! Ave no Goat any...!

:roll:

Alex...

Post by: **elansprint71** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 9:05 am

alexblack13 wrote:Aw Naw!! Ave no Goat any...!

Alex...

Perhaps I should explain this one? Alex is from Scotland, which is a part of England, to the north near to Iceland. They speak rather oddly at times- for example, instead of the verb "got" (a simple past tense and past participle of "get") they say "goat". Instead of "not" they say "no". For further help with this subject, Google Rab C Nesbitt. Simples!

Home rule for Westmorland. :twisted:

Post by: **alexblack13** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 11:26 am

Thought I wid get a 'Goat' in there somehow!

:roll:

Heading for the show tomorrow am!!

Ab...

Post by: **twincamman** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 11:52 am

thank ewe -and Alex I hope you win the 'best old haedus ' cup at the show :lol:

------ed

Post by: **alexblack13** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:15 pm

Jist wach it shiney heed!!

Al' ...... :lol:

Post by: **ardee_selby** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 3:19 pm

alexblack13 wrote:Without doubt the funniest thing I ever saw. The poor guy was covered in the stuff.. Took me all day to stop laughing..Al' .....

Alex,

Q.1 What's the Scottish Gaelic for schadenfreude?

Q.2 Did you ever visit the elephant house at Colchester Zoo in 1970?

(A cow elephant went along the line of visitors, taking the buns offered, until it met the guy who was leaning over the rail to say "Hi". When it realised no bun was on offer it took a couple of paces back, raised it's trunk & blew (trumpeted) all over the guy! No problem except said elephant appeared to have a cold & the guy was left dripping with elephant sn*t. It was very funny (NOT) and one of the onlookers was convulsed with laughter. I was wondering if it was you... :wink:

)

Cheers - Richard

Post by: **alexblack13** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 4:42 pm

1) I don't know Gaelic at all Richard, although I could look it up.. :roll:

Must admit I normally never take pleasure at someone else's misfortune but hey! That one was well funny. And smelly!!

2) Nope and err... Nope.. :lol:

That too sounds seriously funny.. Good job it didn't raise its tail eh? High speed Elephant shit would probably have taken his head off..

Going to the NEC this weekend?

Al' .....

Talking Cow

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