Early Tales of Woe - So What's Your Story?
Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 7:25 pm
Here are a few tales which have happened to me during my early years of Elan ownership - although the first story happened not to me but another S1 owner I met in about 1973.
a) He forgot to tighten the spark plugs after giving his Elan a service. On attempting to start the car all 4 plugs exited the engine bay via the bonnet - I have seen tidier holes.
b) In about 1973 after doing some work on my car I forgot (or more likely neglected) to attach the pair of bonnet retaining springs. On my way to work I was doing about a 100 with the roof down on the A1 towards Borehamwood (3 lanes each way) when the bonnet began to "twitch". Shortly later the bonnet flew over my head and floated down the middle lane like a Frisbee.
Traffic swerved to miss the bonnet as it seemed to hover in mid-air (as witnessed in my rear view mirror). The bonnet landed in the middle lane and fortunately I was able to retrieve it before it caused an accident. The bonnet was undamaged.
To prevent a repeat performance I fitted 4 bonnet straps (2 each at the front and back of the bonnet) as backup for the springs.
c) Again in 1973 I went with a mate down to Torquay for the bank holiday. On the way back to NW London the water pump failed in mid-afternoon near Newton Abbot - still 200 miles from home.
We abandoned the car in a convenient petrol station and decided to hitch. We eventually reached my friend's house at about midnight and immediately drove back to Devon in his Mini Cooper with the intention of towing the Elan back home - and that is what we did. In fact the car was back home just short of 24 hours after we broke down. We developed all sorts of hand signals to warn me of what the Cooper driver was about to do especially when he was doing 70
All went well except for intermittent overheating which resulted in my mate losing lumps of skin from his arm when he removed the rad cap. Mind you the T -shirt wrapped around his arm for nearly 200miles made it easier for me to anticipate when a hand signal was due.
My first engine extraction followed shortly afterwards.
d)There was a day in 1973 when I demolished the firm's 6ft chain link fence including 5 concrete posts - but I don't want to talk about that
This incident resulted in me bonding a new offside front quarter to the Elan - during this process I ended up in hospital after some resin dripped off the brush handle into my eye when I was lying on my back applying matting to the underside of the nose.
For searing pain I would imagine resin in the eyeball is hard to beat.
It was a shame about all the fibreglass and resin handprints down the hall and into the kitchen as I frantically tried to find a tap to rinse my eyeball before a manic drive to hospital.
At least the resin had solidified by the time I had driven to hospital (using my one good eye). The bits were all picked out using tweezers with particular attention being paid to those bits which had rotated to the rear of my rotating eyeball.
e) In 1974 I took the car (and my new wife ) down to Newquay for a holiday. On the trip down to Cornwall the Elan was playing up with either a fuel or ignition problem - so the morning after we had arrived I found a small rural one-man garage and asked the guy to look into the problem. I was assured that the car would be ready for pick up at about 2pm. We went to pick up the car at the suggested time but there was no sign of the mechanic or the car.
By the time darkness fell I was beginning to get worried - but he did eventually turn up. His story was that after working on the car he took it for a test drive. Unfortunately he didn't attach the springs. He did attach the rear pair of bonnet straps - but not the front two.
On his test drive he must have reached 100mph - for the bonnet lifted as it had done before on the A1 - but this time because the rear straps were attached, the bonnet simply smashed through the windscreen. Fortunately he managed to keep the car on the road despite having his line of sight blocked by the vertical bonnet.
He had to go on a 250 mile round trip to Taunton to get a replacement screen!
f)The day I lost a brake pad and the ensuing disaster.
I was again on my way to work - in fact I had got as far as the firm's gate when the brakes totally failed.
As I came down the hill towards a T-junction I put my foot on the brake but nothing happened. My foot went straight to the floor. I shot across the T-junction hitting an Escort van broadsides and ended up stationary and wrecked in the middle of the entrance to my workplace - to the amusement of all my workmates.
After the car had been towed round my Mum's house I discovered that I had lost a rear brake pad which had popped out as I approached the T-junction (I later found the pad in the road) hence the momentary loss of braking. (Pity I had no time to pump - but just sufficient to panic).
The rear calliper on the driver's side had the bottom pad retaining pin missing (I haven't a clue of when or how). Consequently when I applied the brake (relatively gently) the rotation of the disc simply ejected the pad out of the back of the calliper. (It would not have happened if the pins passed through the pads as per the front brakes).
What followed was a chassis change in my Mum's garage and an appearance in court (driving knowingly in an unroadworthy vehicle, driving with defective brakes and failing to observe a "Stop" sign).
The chassis change was successful and so was the court case - I got an absolute discharge which meant that I shouldn't have been driving with defective brakes - but the court accepted that I didn't know they were defective. No fine and no endorsements.
As you can see, it was fortunate that I abandoned the car in my Mum's garage in '77 - if I hadn't I doubt it would still be on the road today
So what stories have you got ????
a) He forgot to tighten the spark plugs after giving his Elan a service. On attempting to start the car all 4 plugs exited the engine bay via the bonnet - I have seen tidier holes.
b) In about 1973 after doing some work on my car I forgot (or more likely neglected) to attach the pair of bonnet retaining springs. On my way to work I was doing about a 100 with the roof down on the A1 towards Borehamwood (3 lanes each way) when the bonnet began to "twitch". Shortly later the bonnet flew over my head and floated down the middle lane like a Frisbee.
Traffic swerved to miss the bonnet as it seemed to hover in mid-air (as witnessed in my rear view mirror). The bonnet landed in the middle lane and fortunately I was able to retrieve it before it caused an accident. The bonnet was undamaged.
To prevent a repeat performance I fitted 4 bonnet straps (2 each at the front and back of the bonnet) as backup for the springs.
c) Again in 1973 I went with a mate down to Torquay for the bank holiday. On the way back to NW London the water pump failed in mid-afternoon near Newton Abbot - still 200 miles from home.
We abandoned the car in a convenient petrol station and decided to hitch. We eventually reached my friend's house at about midnight and immediately drove back to Devon in his Mini Cooper with the intention of towing the Elan back home - and that is what we did. In fact the car was back home just short of 24 hours after we broke down. We developed all sorts of hand signals to warn me of what the Cooper driver was about to do especially when he was doing 70
All went well except for intermittent overheating which resulted in my mate losing lumps of skin from his arm when he removed the rad cap. Mind you the T -shirt wrapped around his arm for nearly 200miles made it easier for me to anticipate when a hand signal was due.
My first engine extraction followed shortly afterwards.
d)There was a day in 1973 when I demolished the firm's 6ft chain link fence including 5 concrete posts - but I don't want to talk about that
This incident resulted in me bonding a new offside front quarter to the Elan - during this process I ended up in hospital after some resin dripped off the brush handle into my eye when I was lying on my back applying matting to the underside of the nose.
For searing pain I would imagine resin in the eyeball is hard to beat.
It was a shame about all the fibreglass and resin handprints down the hall and into the kitchen as I frantically tried to find a tap to rinse my eyeball before a manic drive to hospital.
At least the resin had solidified by the time I had driven to hospital (using my one good eye). The bits were all picked out using tweezers with particular attention being paid to those bits which had rotated to the rear of my rotating eyeball.
e) In 1974 I took the car (and my new wife ) down to Newquay for a holiday. On the trip down to Cornwall the Elan was playing up with either a fuel or ignition problem - so the morning after we had arrived I found a small rural one-man garage and asked the guy to look into the problem. I was assured that the car would be ready for pick up at about 2pm. We went to pick up the car at the suggested time but there was no sign of the mechanic or the car.
By the time darkness fell I was beginning to get worried - but he did eventually turn up. His story was that after working on the car he took it for a test drive. Unfortunately he didn't attach the springs. He did attach the rear pair of bonnet straps - but not the front two.
On his test drive he must have reached 100mph - for the bonnet lifted as it had done before on the A1 - but this time because the rear straps were attached, the bonnet simply smashed through the windscreen. Fortunately he managed to keep the car on the road despite having his line of sight blocked by the vertical bonnet.
He had to go on a 250 mile round trip to Taunton to get a replacement screen!
f)The day I lost a brake pad and the ensuing disaster.
I was again on my way to work - in fact I had got as far as the firm's gate when the brakes totally failed.
As I came down the hill towards a T-junction I put my foot on the brake but nothing happened. My foot went straight to the floor. I shot across the T-junction hitting an Escort van broadsides and ended up stationary and wrecked in the middle of the entrance to my workplace - to the amusement of all my workmates.
After the car had been towed round my Mum's house I discovered that I had lost a rear brake pad which had popped out as I approached the T-junction (I later found the pad in the road) hence the momentary loss of braking. (Pity I had no time to pump - but just sufficient to panic).
The rear calliper on the driver's side had the bottom pad retaining pin missing (I haven't a clue of when or how). Consequently when I applied the brake (relatively gently) the rotation of the disc simply ejected the pad out of the back of the calliper. (It would not have happened if the pins passed through the pads as per the front brakes).
What followed was a chassis change in my Mum's garage and an appearance in court (driving knowingly in an unroadworthy vehicle, driving with defective brakes and failing to observe a "Stop" sign).
The chassis change was successful and so was the court case - I got an absolute discharge which meant that I shouldn't have been driving with defective brakes - but the court accepted that I didn't know they were defective. No fine and no endorsements.
As you can see, it was fortunate that I abandoned the car in my Mum's garage in '77 - if I hadn't I doubt it would still be on the road today
So what stories have you got ????