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Why owning a Lotus is better than sex (Honest)

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:29 pm
by The Cyclist
With brief apologies for NLC. This list was published in the recent Club Lotus Magazine from Nigel Price. It made me laugh (& 'er indoors too).

Why Cars are Better than Sex:

1; You don't have to hide your car magazines.
2; You can have more than one car at the same time.
3; Your partner won't object if you join a car club.
4; You can have a professional teach you to drive.
5; Your partner doesn't mind if you fancy a drive in your mate's car.
6; Your partner doesn't object if you tell everyone how well your car goes.
7; There's nothing wrong with admiring other people's cars.
8; Your partner doesn't mind you talking about cars you had years ago.
9; You don't mind strangers looking under the bonnet (hood) of your car.
10; When you see a nice car you don't have to feel guilty if you imagine driving it.
11; No one will say you'll go blind if you drive by yourself.
12; You can have a car calender on your office wall, tell motoring jokes and offer co-workers a lift without being sued for harassment.
13; There are no car transmitted diseases.
14; Nobody expects you to drive the same car your whole life.
15; You can have your car rebuilt when performance drops and it gets rusty.
16; Nobody expects you to give up driving it if your partner loses interest.
17; Your car will never say "Not again? We went for a drive last week! Is driving all you ever think about?"

Do any of you know any others?
How about a variation on 13 - When you get an itch in your shorts you know it's because you've been sanding. or 15; With enough money you can get your car back to the condition she was in when you got her.

Geoff
TCS 72
S3 66
(Neither running but progress this week end if my wife clears her plants from the drive)

Why owning a Lotus is better than sex (Honest)

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 9:15 pm
by M100
On Mon, 25 Apr 2005 20:29:45 +0100, "Geoff Searle"
<***@***.***> wrote:

With brief apologies for NLC. This list was published in the recent Club Lotus Magazine from Nigel Price. It made me laugh (& 'er indoors too).

Why Cars are Better than Sex:

1; You don't have to hide your car magazines.


Despite drastically cutting back in the past few years and dumping
hundreds of magazines recently I totally failed on number 1 - they now
go in the loft out of sight of SWM (sometimes) BO

In a huge garden clearup at the weekend we retrieved my old Elan
chassis from the back of the garage - its been off the car for some
15-20 years and was just about ok corrosion wise when removed. Now,
after being exposed to the elements and no warm engine oil it is only
fit for the scrap bin but despite that it still holds its basic shape
- the backbone has gone in a big way round the seat belt mounts and
the bottom of the front crossmember has 50% gone. I had secretly been
hoping to turn it into a lighting feature like someone did the other
year - so do I now go and buy a new chassis and get it powder coated
in a bright colour?


Martin

72/45
--

Why owning a Lotus is better than sex (Honest)

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:48 am
by frearther
Re. <11; No one will say you'll go blind if you drive by
yourself.> Nor will you get hairy palms.

Art
26/4934


Arther H. Frederick
Initial Reaction - embroidered and decorated apparel
3869 Route 66, Chatham Centre
Valatie, NY 12184
518-392-4287